Couch Potato

Many are the mom moments when I wish I would’ve done things differently or handled things another way. Few and far between are the mom moments when things go so smoothly and peacefully—brilliantly, even—that I wonder why I didn’t try something sooner. I had one of those rare experiences Monday afternoon.

We’d just returned from our Rhody Run weekend in Port Townsend. The rain was back in full force. It looked and felt like a chilly February day. I’d started a book that my mother-in-law gave me and couldn’t seem to put it down. All I wanted to do was curl up on the couch under a blanket and read. I knew that the simple act of trying to relax would be interpreted as an invitation to disturb or distract by my boys. As I came down the stairs listening to the rain, an idea popped in my head. Thinking of some of the books that line my 8-year-old’s shelf, like “National Geographic’s Weird But True 3 – 300 Outrageous Facts” (Guinea pigs can walk as soon as they are born, p. 50),”100 Most Disgusting Things on the Planet” (Ear Wax. Scientists can tell how old a whale is by counting the layers of ear wax inside its ears, p. 96) and Guinness World Records, Ultimate Gross Records
(Most Balloons Inflated by the Nose in Three Minutes, Answer: 23, p. 22), I decided to try a
different angle.

“Hey Rass. I’m thinking about trying to set the new Guinness World Record for sitting on the couch the longest. What do you think it is?”

He perked up.

“Really? I don’t know…six hours?”

“So how late would I need to sit here?” I asked.

“It’s 3:10 now…”

He began calculating.

“That might get kind of late,” I said. “It would be time for bed. How long do you think I could really go?”

“Three hours,” he answered. “Until 6:10.”

We made it a goal. We established the rules. There would be no getting up. No going to the bathroom. No filling water glasses. No retrieving snacks. I was to sit on the couch all afternoon.

The rain stopped and the boys prepared to head outside to play baseball with their dad.

“Mom, you can’t get up…don’t get up…do you promise?” Rass questioned before he left.

I assured him I would stay put.

I kept my word.

I enjoyed a leisurely afternoon on the couch, reading my book under a blanket. But I was a bit shy of our goal—only making it until 5:30— so I could join the family for dinner.

And so I await another opportunity to set a couch-sitting record in our house….

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6 thoughts on “Couch Potato

  1. You are the smartest person I know. Your teeth might not be whiter than mine, but you are definitely smarter than me!

  2. You are hysterical and brilliant. I’m so using that move. We have all of the Ripley’s Belive It or Not….Mom, on couch, with book. I think I could make it in. Cyn

  3. Found out the book you were reading was Night Road. I had picked it up on clearance a couple of weeks ago. Just cried my way through it for two days!

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